Thursday, September 10, 2015

For Those That Worry...

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." ~ Isaiah 26:3

This verse popped up as my verse of the day a couple weeks ago and it stopped me in my tracks.  It continues to run through my mind often as I go about my day, and has made me think about reactions and responses to life, this bout with cancer being one of those.

When I got diagnosed with cancer many well meaning individuals, some I knew, some were a friend of a friend came to me with advice.  "You need to go to this doctor"; "I can't believe you're not going to do ___;" "This is the surgery you should have"; "Check out this support group," etc.  Add in the accessibility of online publications and it's very easy to become overwhelmed and confused with all the advice.

Some advice I did, some I researched, some I joined, like the online Facebook support groups.  As I read through account after account, article and after article, comment stream after comment stream of individuals with my same type of cancer I began to feel the fingers of panic grip at my heart and I began to hear a little voice in my head telling me to get off the page, off the computer, or out of the group.

I listened partly, signing off but not out of the groups.  Some time later I checked back in and briefly skimmed through the comment streams again, only to read the same kind of postings as before.  It was after this that I decided to listen more fully to the little voice in my head unsubscribed from the groups, and stopped the constant researching .

I'm sharing this because often in our lives when hard times come; so too the well meaning, but often times panic or fear driven advice and comments of those around us.  I know it's difficult during these times not to give into the fear of the what ifs.  What if I lose the house?  What if I can't find a job? What am I going to do with my life?  What should I do about my relationship/marriage?  What if I die, etc?  I've struggled through these life questions and more, both as a Christian and not.

As a non-believer when these kinds of life events occurred, these questions would plague me resurfacing often.  They became the repeating tape inside my head during whatever life stress was currently happening, constantly keeping me in a state of panic and anxiety.  My mind reeled with the continuous searching for the right answer, the best advice, so much so, that in the end I would be decision paralyzed; unable to make any choice and yet worried more because of this indecision.  This pattern of anxiety and constant worry wreaked havoc on my health, constituting in more worry, panic, and anxiety - some say it's a family trait.

I've had these same life events and more happen as a Christian.  Over the past 6 years, I've uprooted my life; been laid-off; changed jobs; switched careers; contemplated schooling; dealt with income loss, death, and cancer, just to name a few.  I'm still me with a proclivity towards worry/panic/anxiety, but the tape that would've been playing constantly has been replaced with truth. 

"For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." ~ Isaiah 41:13

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." ~ Isaiah 26:3

"Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" ~ 1Corinthians 3:16

Understand it's not that I've changed. I could go down that same well-worn road of panic and anxiety fairly easily, but that the Truth of God is greater.  The more I lay my burdens, worry, and problems at His feet and give them over to Him, and don't take them back, the more at peace I become.  The extra bonus is when he allows me to see His plan at work in hindsight.

I know that what I'm talking about isn't an easy thing to do.  However, it's imperative during these difficult and trying times in our lives that we use discernment and turn less to of those around us, and more to the Holy One inside of us.  Cling to His promises, ask for guidance, and keep our minds focused on Him.  When I do that there is peace, there is stillness, and there is freedom.

God has broken the tape and it's made all the difference for me...

Praise and Glory to God!

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