Sunday, November 29, 2015
With Thanksgiving
I have so many things to be thankful for this season - my family, my health, my treatments. Of course, I'm thankful to be cancer free, but the most important "thing" I am thankful for is my faith.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God" Ephesians 2:8
Our faith, a gift from God.
A gift from the Creator of the Universe. Isn't that trippy? That God desires to give us, humans, a gift. And not just any gift. Not something that will run out, expire, or lose it's value, but something that will forever alter the landscape of our lives. A gift that will continue to inspire, cultivate, create, and give more than we can comprehend. And the kicker is, this gift is available to anyone, will fit anyone, and when worn has the power to defeat the darkest caverns of our darkest addictions, banish unrelenting self-torment, and rescue us from ourselves. How awesome is that?
Our faith, a gift from God, and it's free. Free because of His desire to have relationship with us. Free because He loved us enough to give us a way back to Him. Free because of Jesus.
I hope this holiday season that while we are thankful for our families and the things we receive - may we set aside time to truly contemplate The Gift, given out of love and mercy, from a God that desires more than anything to have a conversation with the humans He created.
And if you're reading this and aren't quite sure about all this "faith" stuff. If it scares you, or if you don't believe in it; just let Him know. Give Him a little time. Unwrap the present before you chuck it. Set aside any preconceived notions and hang out for a minute.
Just you, God, and a simple conversation...
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
She's all Aglow - Treatment Update
So, last week I began radiation treatments. I'll have 25 daily treatments over the next 5 weeks, well 4 weeks now. Given my 100% remission news from earlier, you'd think that I would've danced my way into the treatment room. You would think that my mind would be unburdened, that I'd be proclaiming from the rooftops my awesome news. But I didn't...
The truth is, my footsteps were heavy as I made my way into the waiting room, signed in, and changed into my very flattering gown and scrub pants. Battling doubt, worry, nerves, and tears I sat down to wait my turn. Looking over at the woman next to me I took in her peaceful countenance and began praying, it didn't work. So I switched to worship, quietly singing to myself. Before I knew it, I'm having myself a worship break right there in the waiting room, hand to the sky and everything. (which is not my usual waiting room etiquette in case your wondering.) The doubt and worry began to dissolve. I glance over at the woman again and begin a conversation with her. She tells me about her cancer journey of the past 16 years. I'm amazed at her strength, her quiet strength. I tell her about my nerves and she states simply, "I just envision the radiation as rays of God's light entering my body and healing what needs healing." (Mic drop) And just like that my perspective is set right. I thank her profusely and tell her God put her in my path this morning.
So, how are my treatments going?
Praise to God, my treatments have been going very smoothly. I haven't felt fatigue. I don't have any burned skin and I haven't experienced much in the way of nausea either. I do however, have more x's marked on my body that a treasure map. I also have three tattoos, permanent dots that they use to ensure proper alignment.
What it's like?
I've gotten this question a few times, so I'll try and break it down for you.
First they take a preliminary scan of your treatment area and then with the aid of computers, physicists and your doctor come up with your treatment map. The radiation machine then uses this mapping, I'm assuming, like coordinates/measurements. After the scan is complete, and before you move, they take photos from all angles as reference for positioning and make multiple x marks on your body with markers. These marks stay on your body for the duration of your treatment.
Once they have come with your mapping, the machine takes these coordinates and dials in to match that specific shape by moving x-ray blocking pieces in the machine. You must be in the exact position of your initial scan every time you have treatment, thus the markings. The actual time that I'm being exposed to radiation is very small, like less than 2 minutes, the set-up to get me into the correct position can take awhile at times. Once I'm in position, I do nothing but lay there and pray that God is using these rays to protect me from recurrence, kill off anything that is left, and protect my skin and healthy cells.
The room is cold, the table is hard if you've ever had an x-ray. My arms are over my head, my feet are banded together, and my legs are lying in a stabilizer to keep them from moving. Not a good time for your body to decide you need to sneeze by the way (which happened today)
Are there side effects?
Side effects vary for each individual and what part of the body is getting treated. For me, typical side effects are fatigue and burning of the skin. The burning can range from looking like a sunburn to peeling, blistering, or worse. Just like laying in the sun, it can take awhile for a burn to develop. To offset this, I apply special lotion twice a day, shower with special soap, stay hydrated, and take supplements to help repair damage. So far, side effects have been next to nil other than I seem to get crazy hungry right after which can turn to nausea if I don't eat right away. They say that radiation is cumulative and that the most common side effects, those being burned skin and fatigue usually don't present themselves until week 3. I'm choosing not to focus on that. I've been trying to control what I can, take my supplements, get my acupuncture treatments, exercise, pray, and keep myself busy.
Thank you so much for all your prayers, your cards, your thoughts, and your support! Looking forward to spending some time at home this weekend with family, friends, and church...
The truth is, my footsteps were heavy as I made my way into the waiting room, signed in, and changed into my very flattering gown and scrub pants. Battling doubt, worry, nerves, and tears I sat down to wait my turn. Looking over at the woman next to me I took in her peaceful countenance and began praying, it didn't work. So I switched to worship, quietly singing to myself. Before I knew it, I'm having myself a worship break right there in the waiting room, hand to the sky and everything. (which is not my usual waiting room etiquette in case your wondering.) The doubt and worry began to dissolve. I glance over at the woman again and begin a conversation with her. She tells me about her cancer journey of the past 16 years. I'm amazed at her strength, her quiet strength. I tell her about my nerves and she states simply, "I just envision the radiation as rays of God's light entering my body and healing what needs healing." (Mic drop) And just like that my perspective is set right. I thank her profusely and tell her God put her in my path this morning.
So, how are my treatments going?
Praise to God, my treatments have been going very smoothly. I haven't felt fatigue. I don't have any burned skin and I haven't experienced much in the way of nausea either. I do however, have more x's marked on my body that a treasure map. I also have three tattoos, permanent dots that they use to ensure proper alignment.
What it's like?
I've gotten this question a few times, so I'll try and break it down for you.
First they take a preliminary scan of your treatment area and then with the aid of computers, physicists and your doctor come up with your treatment map. The radiation machine then uses this mapping, I'm assuming, like coordinates/measurements. After the scan is complete, and before you move, they take photos from all angles as reference for positioning and make multiple x marks on your body with markers. These marks stay on your body for the duration of your treatment.
Once they have come with your mapping, the machine takes these coordinates and dials in to match that specific shape by moving x-ray blocking pieces in the machine. You must be in the exact position of your initial scan every time you have treatment, thus the markings. The actual time that I'm being exposed to radiation is very small, like less than 2 minutes, the set-up to get me into the correct position can take awhile at times. Once I'm in position, I do nothing but lay there and pray that God is using these rays to protect me from recurrence, kill off anything that is left, and protect my skin and healthy cells.
The room is cold, the table is hard if you've ever had an x-ray. My arms are over my head, my feet are banded together, and my legs are lying in a stabilizer to keep them from moving. Not a good time for your body to decide you need to sneeze by the way (which happened today)
Are there side effects?
Side effects vary for each individual and what part of the body is getting treated. For me, typical side effects are fatigue and burning of the skin. The burning can range from looking like a sunburn to peeling, blistering, or worse. Just like laying in the sun, it can take awhile for a burn to develop. To offset this, I apply special lotion twice a day, shower with special soap, stay hydrated, and take supplements to help repair damage. So far, side effects have been next to nil other than I seem to get crazy hungry right after which can turn to nausea if I don't eat right away. They say that radiation is cumulative and that the most common side effects, those being burned skin and fatigue usually don't present themselves until week 3. I'm choosing not to focus on that. I've been trying to control what I can, take my supplements, get my acupuncture treatments, exercise, pray, and keep myself busy.
Thank you so much for all your prayers, your cards, your thoughts, and your support! Looking forward to spending some time at home this weekend with family, friends, and church...
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